Revolution walks into the Hell’s pit show studio. Big Bobby Dunn pounds the door open with his iron pipe on the way in.
They all sit down, taking their places in director’s chairs.
Admiral John: "So, Revolution, what do you most hate about the HBS?"
Big Bobby Dunn: "I hate all of ‘em. I could take on all those weaklings in one sitting. They’re just cowards, so that would never happen."
Admiral John mutters, seemingly deep and brooding: “Understandable, understandable.” Then he raises his voice to the whole group, “So, who’s got something personal about HBS that they would like to share to the world?"
Sadista replies: “Um yeah, so I was walking by Pikeanator’s dressing room the other day and I saw him putting on some makeup.” He lowers his voice to a whisper, “I think I saw some lipstick, too! Pike is trying to make a movie, but I think Brokeback Mountain was already based on his life!!!”
The room erupts in laughter!
Admiral John, trying to stop laughing, says: “Okay, guys try to settle down. Hahaha. Sorry, I’m a little shaken after that. Beast-X, what do you have to say about HBS?”
Beast-X: “Well, there is just one thing I would like to say to them, look who is the Hard...Knocks...Champ!”
Admiral John: “Well, thank you Beast-X. Yes, I would like to add to that, the fact that in our one season of existence, we already have, let’s see, the SAME NUMBER of belts as HBS!! That is a little testament to our strength as a stable.”
Big Bobby Dunn: “Yeah, we are the best!!!”
Admiral John: “Thank you Bobby. !mpact, what do you have to say?”
!mpact: “Guys, I think it is a very noble gesture what we are doing here. Cody Albrak has completely taken this show of his and made it a sh**show. His interviews are terrible, his persona is awful, and whats worse, his wrestling can’t back up the fact that HE has a show, and nobody from Revolution does. The moral is: I HATE CODY ALBRAK!!”
Admiral John: “Ok, some fighting words from !mpact. Let’s heed his advice and help Cody out a little bit on his show.”
Big Bobby Dunn: “I think I know what you mean!”
Bobby takes his pipe and smashes it on the mirror near the door. Revolution heeds his cue and starts running wild on the studio, smashing any and everything that is in the place. Chairs are thrown, the floor is dented, and manowar and Sadista take out spray paint and start graffitiing on the walls. They write out “Revolution” and “HBS SUCK” on the walls.
All the while, Admiral John is sitting in his chair, drinking from his flask, and laughing.
Revolution finally sits down in their seats, which is about the only thing in the room that is still functional. They finish laughing and look around at their handiwork.
manowar: “Yep, that is what Cody deserves. You know, HBS is just a whole bunch of puppets. Chasm pulls their strings and they do what he wants. They can just all go and f*** themselves. They can’t mess with me. Hahaha!”
Admiral John: “Well said, manowar. I just want to comment on their recent situation with Dominion, anyone can add if they want. I want to do some math here. So HBS is terrible, and Dominion isn’t even good enough to be with them, so according to the transitive property, he is even worse than terrible.”
Beast-X: “That makes him absolutely, ridiculously, utterly, completely AWFUL!!!”
Revolution all laughs.
Sadista: “Hey John, what do you have to say specifically about HBS?”
Admiral John: “Sadista, I’m glad you asked. You are a very valuable member of this stable. Same with you manowar, but I know you know that, hehe. One thing I would like to say about HBS is regarding the Fighting Irishman. He is a poser of a drinker. Us Navy boys drink the real stuff, real whiskey and gin. This limey boy only carries around his weak vodka and beer. Haha, he really can’t handle his stuff. I would challenge him to a drinking contest, but I know he would refuse and lose anyway.”
Admiral John takes a huge swig from his flask and looks directly into the camera as he says this.[i]
Admiral John: “So, that just about wraps up our show, Heaven’s Atrium. Hell’s PiT is basically a terrible show that all the other wrestlers watch just for amusement. And we have come in and given it a little facelift. Please sent your compliments to Revolution. Autographs to come later.”
[i]Revolution gets up and walks out straight-faced to their locker room...
Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:29 pm